


Who Gave You The Right

by bring_me_the_ships



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tumblr, F/M, Genderfluid Sirius Black, M/M, Trans Remus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-07-16 18:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7279159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bring_me_the_ships/pseuds/bring_me_the_ships
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius may or may not have the biggest crush on a cute hipster photographer on Tumblr who has an unhealthy obsession with sweaters and pretty nature shots. One day, after a picture Sirius feels personally victimised by (Remus' collarbones are showing and holy shit are those freckles this man is an actual angel), they send Remus an angry message about how unfair it is for one human to be so attractive. A very confused and amused Remus decides to message them back, and that is the perfect equation for two pining nerds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Sirius is a Hot Gay Mess

**Author's Note:**

> This is a product of boredom and love for fictional characters, thank you for clicking it kind bean.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is **bold**  
>  Remus is _italics_

**listen here you little shit. who the actual hell gave you the right?**

  


  
_I'm confused, did I do something? Sorry if I did, I just don't understand?_

  


  
**those collarbones ???? and you have freckles ??? and those sweaters ?????? it's not even cold and you're wearing sweaters and who gave you the right to do this to a bloke ???????**

  


  
_Sorry? I'm not sure what to say because you're calling me attractive while also yelling at me_

  


  
**!!!! i was in public and my best mate thought i was dying because i choked on a drink you almost killed me i almost died tumblr user picturesbymoony**

  


  
_Why were you on tumblr in public anyways? That's a recipe for disaster_

  


  
**i have you on notifs and i wanted to see if you took another pretty nature pic but instead it was you and hot coffee lodged itself in my throat moony do you know how painful that is?**

  


  
_Well 'princepadfoot' I have had hot coffee shoot out of my nose before, so I can imagine. I am /so/ sorry you poor soul, can you /ever/ forgive me?_

  


  
**wow moony how rude first you almost kill me and then you get sarcastic with me i am deeply offended**

  


  
_What can I say? Sarcasm and insults make up my native tongue_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Did I actually offend you? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_It's been hours and now I feel like I fucked up. Sorry? I won't post any more pictures of me?_

  


  
**fuck i'm sorry, jamie needed help bc my little brother showed up on his doorstep and a lot of shit happened**

  


  
**did my moony miss me?**

  


  
_Of course not, I just don't like upsetting people, even ones as insufferable as you. Is everything okay with your brother?_

  


  
**not really but it hasn't been in years. now there's at least a chance it will be? don't worry though, i've got enough family issues to make the winchester bros jealous tbh**

  


  
_Well, here's to hoping that brotherly issues will be taken off the list soon (are you his brother? Sister? Which sibling are you?)_

  


  
**sibling would be best. i am genderfluid as heck but rn i'm feeling more masc so brother would work if you'd prefer that**

  


  
_I'm all about respecting pronouns so sibling it is. Can't tell you how many times I've been misgendered/deadnamed at family events_

  


  
**not deadnamed for me bc i kept my name the same but family used to refuse to call me anything but he ever until i was 16**

  


  
_What happened when you were 16? Did they come to their senses or something?_

  


  
**HA**

  


  
**not at all. shit got to be too much eventually so i left and started living with james. mum and dad are much better than the people who birthed me ******

  


  
_I'm glad you had him at least. Did your brother decide he was done with them too?_

  


  
**sorta? it's really fucking complicated with our family and not something i would want to force you to hear about so soon. maybe one day though moony**

  


  
_Oh wait fuck I haven't even told you my proper name yet. I'm Remus._

  


  
**nice to officially meet you remus, i am sirius**

  


  
**hey wait i'm dog star and you're wolf boy we could totally be a crime fighting duo**

  


  
_What the hell have I gotten myself into?_

  


  
**i take offense to that moonbeam i really do. we are supposed to fight crime together and all you do is insult my wit.**

  


  
_Sirius are you drunk?_

  


  
**surprisingly no. normally i would be a lot less sober after family encounters but evans took my alcohol away as soon as she found out i was seeing reg bc i have to babysit prongslet tomorrow**

  


  
_Good to know this is just your natural state. Also, I don't know who any of those people are, clarify?_

  


  
**evans is james' ex/baby mama lily who we are still really good friends with, reg is my brother regulus, and prongslet is jamie/prongs' and lil's kid harry**

  


  
_Yeah, it wouldn't do to be hungover if you're watching your best mate's kid. Also if you don't mind me asking, how old are you guys if two of you are already divorced with a kid?_

  


  
**we're all 22, went to school together and lil and jamie didn't get married bc she was very 'marriage doesn't define a relationship it is a piece of paper' but they had harry at twenty. split a few months later because they kinda just acted like friends and realised they were better off friends. jamie was a bit messed up at first since he thought she was it for him but he's all good now and she's his best friend besides me**

  


  
_Oh, so we're the same age then and you guys just became adults faster than me_

  


  
**pfft we aren't adults, prongs just knocked lily up. don't let the baby fool you freckles, i still barely know how to turn on the oven, and don't even get me started on cooking. i was forbidden from that after i set fire while trying to make ramen with the stove since we hadn't gotten a microwave yet**

  


  
_How do you achieve that level of shittiness?_

  


  
**well until i was living with james i didn't need to know cooking. my family was rich as balls and had servants so it wasn't a necessary skill**

  


  
_That's like ridiculously rich. How does someone even get that much money? And how did you leave that much money so easily?_

  


  
**easy? yeah thanks. because everything about leaving those fucking people was easy.**

  


  
_Did I just say something totally wrong? I didn't mean to be insensitive, I just didn't know_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Sirius?_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Please just let me know you're at least alright if you read this. I really am sorry._

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected angst, things will get fixed at some point in the next chapter I'm sure


	2. In Which Remus Has Several Heart Attacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is **bold**  
>  Remus is _italics_

_It is literally day two of having known you and I have already lost sleep over you. I'm sorry about what I said, I was a prick. Even if you're ignoring me, at least post something so I know you're okay?_  


  
\-- 

  


  
_A moon that has 'fuck you' written across it? That was so passive aggressive I'm almost jealous. At least I know you're reading these now. I am sorry, I didn't mean to be such an ass, I will be better from now on_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Day three and I am swallowing my pride to say I miss you and your dumb comments about how we could be superheroes. You make me laugh and now you have made me miss you, that is a feat accomplished by few. Come back Pads? I'll post pretty nature pictures whenever you request and I will warn you before posting any selfies?_

  


  
**puppy dog eyes now or no deal**

  


  
**h OW DO YOU**

  


  
**those E YE S AND TH EBE ANIE**

  


  
_Are we officially crime fighting partners again?_

  


  
**YEs**

  


  
_Are you okay?_

  


  
**it was just a mild stroke i'm fine also sprog seemed alarmed when i threw my phone down to hyperventilate you have some explaining to do moonshine**

  


  
_Should I be concerned that you're on your phone when you should be watching a very small child?_

  


  
**nah he's watching telly and is completely content with uncle pads sitting next to him not paying attention**

  


  
_At least he's occupied I suppose? Also since we're talking now, I will once again say I'm really sorry about what I said, it was stupid of me to think it was okay when you'd already said shit about how fucked up they were_

  


  
**remus it's in the past. it's fine. i'm not mad anymore. let's not talk about them, okay? let's instead focus on the fact you haven't seen my gorgeous face, and you are missing out my friend**

  


  
_Well aren't you modest? Maybe you could post a picture in which I could see your self proclaimed gorgeous face?_

  


  
**i need a moment. beauty takes time remus, not all of us are content with the lighting in the room we are currently in**

  


  
\-- 

**  
**

  
**posted it**

  


  
_Almost half an hour for a selfie, this better blow me away_

  


  
_Holy shit you have a bun an d oh my god your eye sand are you wearing a fucking leather jacket oh mygod_

  


  
**did i blow you away?**

  


  
_I think so. Are your cheekbones even real honestly? And those eyebrows damn_

  


  
**my cheekbones are very real and they CAN slice through diamonds according to jamie so watch yourself remus**

  


  
_I will keep that in mind before making you mad if we ever meet_

  


  
**you better. and if the jacket impressed you ,how would you feel if i told you i have a motorbike?**

  


  
_OH MY_

  


  
**my pride and joy**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**jamie brought reg with him to pick up harry i think things are actually going to be good between us he ASKED ME what pronouns he should use for today and then he USED THE RIGHT ONES moony i'm so happy right now he's trying to do good this is so exciting i know you're probably busy since you haven't responded but i needed to share this experience**

  


  
_I'm glad things are going good with him, that's great. Also, weren't you meant to watch Harry yesterday instead of today?_

  


  
**i was lonely and sulking so i insisted he stay the night. jamie loves me so he agreed and so he was with me yesterday too yes**

  


  
_Did he cheer you out of your sulking?_

  


  
**he did, as he always does. also reg and james seem to be getting along which is great because they're my brothers and i want them to be Pals**

  


  
_It's good that they're getting along, especially if they're living together. If you don't mind me asking, why does Reg live with James instead of you?_

  


  
**all parties involved agreed it would be best if regulus and i don't live together, at least until we've worked through some stuff**

  


  
_That would make sense, especially if he showed up as suddenly as he did_

  


  
**honestly i didn't trust it when i heard he showed up but them i actually saw him and i don't know anyone who would do to themselves what'd happened to him for the sake of tricking someone**

  


  
_Is he okay?_

  


  
**he's healing up. still bruised up, but at least he isn't bloody anymore**

  


  
_How are you so casual?? He was bleeding and bruised??_

  


  
**as i said, the family situation is really fucking complicated. they probably still aren't done with him, he was the favourite child**

  


  
_I have a feeling complicated is an understatement_

  


  
**that feeling would be correct moonlight. not to worry though, haven't spoken to them since i was disinherited**

  


  
_I just don't understand parents who treat their kids so awfully. I could never imagine being like that with Teddy_

  


  
**who's teddy? you haven't mentioned a teddy before**

  


  
_Oh shit, I guess you wouldn't know about him would you?_

  


  
**um no??? you're making me curious and nervous, who is he?**

  


_Well when me and Nym were together we both wanted kids and we were dating and also best friends, so there was never any worry we would hate each other if we split, and we decided to go or it. I mean, we obviously couldn't create one traditionally since neither of us produce sperm, but she carried the kid and then there was a Teddy, and I adore this child_

  


  
**what happened to thinking we were older and more adulty bc of harry? you have a kid too???**

  


  
_Yes well ours was just kind of 'well we /are/ best friends, might as well have a baby' and Harry was two humans in a committed relationship planning to be in love and be a happy family with their baby forever_

  


  
**i bet harry's cuter than teddy. i mean nobody's cuter than harry, not even me**

  


  
_I'm not even going to argue because Teddy is the cutest child. Also, have I mentioned that my absolute favourite trait of yours would have to be how fucking modest you are?_

  


  
**i don't think you have moonbeam. would you like to know my favourite trait of yours?**

  


  
_I think it's only fair honestly_

  


  
**F REC KLES**

  


  
_I have never met someone so passionate about freckles before. It's almost alarming_

  


  
**well now you have. and how could i not love them? they're the cutest fucking things and i just**

  


  
_I think we will have to agree to disagree on the attractiveness of my freckles because it is like 3 in the morning and I unfortunately have work to in the morning. Night princepadfoot_

  


  
**goodnight picturesbymoony**

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Teddy's in this I guess? Let's roll with it then. Hope this was satisfactory, next chapter should be done fairly soon I think.


	3. In Which Remus Is In Fact The Hot Teacher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is **bold**  
>  Remus is _italics_

**mooooooooooooooooony**  


  
_Yes?_

  


  
**i'm really fucking bored**

  


_How unfortunate_

**  
**

  
**it is very unfortunate so you should entertain me**

  


  
_Well unfortunately I have a job to get back to in about 15 minutes so I can't do much entertaining_

  


  
**oh what does my darling remus do for a living?**

  


  
_I teach_

  


  
**you're a teacher?**

  


  
_I am, something wrong with that?_

  


  
**how old are the kids you teach? should i be worried? because you would totally be the teacher the students all have a crush on**

  


  
_They're 13 year olds, I think I'm okay. And also, I don't think it's very likely I'd be the Hot Teacher everyone fawns over_

  


  
**do your kids all pay attention in class?**

  


  
_They do_

  


  
**do they participate?**

  


  
_Yes?_

  


  
**do they stay for tutoring when it's offered?**

  


  
_Yes. I don't understand why you're asking though. They're my students, that's what they're supposed to do_

  


  
**you're so dense oh my god that's what they do with the Hot Teacher**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**by the lack of response, i'm guessing break is over and there are children in your classroom now good luck my fair moonbeam**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Sirius I'm not the hot teacher, I just have a good class_

  


  
**FreCKLES**

  


  
**THE EYE S**

  


  
**did i mention frECKLES**

  


  
Why do you love freckles so much? 

  


  
**no avoiding the issue at hand. you are the hot teacher you need to accept it**

  


  
_I will believe it when there is evidence_

  


  
**i will FIND YOUR sCHOOL and MAKE someone assure you of it**

  


  
_Not sure that's a good idea_

  


  
**and why not professor remus?**

  


  
_Because the Headmistress would have your head_

  


  
**i bet she would love me**

  


  
_She's big on the tough love thing, so that wouldn't help much_

  


  
**damn. guess i'll just have to tell you myself that you're the hot teacher until you believe me**

  


  
_Good luck with that_

  


  
**i will do it**

  


  
**also reg is coming over today and it'll just be me and him and i am v nervous**

  


  
_Will you be okay?_

  


**yeah i'm just overreacting because it's the first just me and him thing since we were still in school**

  


  
_Was it before or after you left home?_

  


  
**after. he would meet up with me places without telling our lovely parents but then they found out and our secret meetings ceased to exist**

  


  
_Well I'm glad you've got your brother back_

  


  
**me too. don't get me wrong, james is more than i deserve and he's just as much my brother as regulus, but i still missed reg like hell**

  


**oh shit he's here i gotta go i'll tell you how it goes later**

  


  
_Good luck Sirius, talk to you later_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_It's been six hours and you haven't said anything, so I'm assuming things went really good or really bad. Either way, let me know which one it is so I know if my worrying is justified. I'm going to get some sleep so goodnight Sirius, keep me updated_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**hey so i know you'll probably be doing a lesson right now but reg just left actually. he decided to stay the night so we could do six years of catching up and so he could explain what happened that made him decide to follow in the family disappointment's (me) footsteps. a lot was said, i probably cried more than him tbh, and i think there's actually a pretty good chance we'll be able to fix things and be okay again**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**ALSO while i'm waiting i feel the need to tell you that last night reg said he fancied james when we were younger and that's apparently coming back and i may have panicked and called him a traitor and pushed him off my bed**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Firstly, I'm glad things went well and that you two are fixing things. Secondly, would it really be so bad if Regulus and James got together? Then James would /really/ be your brother_

  


  
**holy shit i didn't think of that thank you i must go give him my approval now**

  


  
_Have fun with that. I have to go though, I was just taking advantage of the five minutes the kids were distracted by a video_

  


  
**good luck with the gross children who have a crush on professor hot teacher remus**

  


  
_Fuck off nerd_

  


  
**wow moony how rude i guess i'll never show you how great i look in my new leather shorts**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_How unfortunate_

  


  
**it is unfortunate, my legs are fucking hot**

  


  
_There's that modesty of yours again_

  


  
**you know you love it**

  


  
_Yeah, keep telling yourself that_

  


  
**oh i will ;)**

  


  
_What is that wink insinuating? Should I be afraid?_

  


  
**-princepadfoot sent a GIF-**

  


  
_You did not just fucking send me spongebob doing finger guns oh my god I'm leaving_

  


  
**no don't leave me i need attention or i will be bored**

  


  
_Are you done with the finger guns and the winking?_

  


  
**in like five minutes check my tumblr and then i will be done**

  


  
_Okay..?_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Are you trying to kill me?_

  


  
**whatever do you mean my dear moony?**

  


  
_A picture of you doing that lip bite or winking or those fucking finger guns, I could handle_

  


  
_But a fucking video_

  


  
_And the very definition of bedroom eyes_

  


  
_"This is for you Moony, hope you get some enjoyment out of it" what the fuck_

  


  
**wow you say fuck a lot more when you're flustered**

  


  
**or maybe turned on**

  


  
**i'm thinking probably both**

  


  
_Fucking fight me_

  


  
**OHMY GODD ID I ACTUSLLY TURN YOU ON**

  


  
_I'm going to bed I have work in the morning goodnight Sirius_

  


  
**BYE MOONY THINK OF ME WHEN YOU WANK TONIGHT**

  


  
_;)_

  


  
**HOYL SHIT ARE YOU AVTUALLY GOING TO OH MY GOD REMUS THER E ARW A LOT OF NOT PG IMAGES IN MY MI ND**

  


  
**MOONY**

  


  
**YOUR E A BAD PERSON I DONT LIKR YOU ANYMORE**

  


  



	4. In Which Sirius Threatens Remus With A Skirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is **bold**  
>  Remus is _italics_

_Hey Sirius, how's your day going?_  


  
**go away you're mean and i don't like you anymore**

  


  
_What did I do this time?_

  


  
**you left me wondering if you were about to go and bloody wank to a video of me !!!!!!! i need answers**

  


  
_I'm not sure I know what you're talking about? I think you'll have to clarify_

  


  
**you know what i'm talking about you little shit**

  


  
_I'm not sure I do? Enlighten me? When did a wank related incident occur?_

  


  
**with the video and your vvv implied turned onness and then when i asked if you were going to wank to me and your FUCKING WINK**

  


  
_I had to get some kind of revenge didn't I? It seemed better than just a retaliation video_

  


  
**but the question remains ,, , ,,,,, did you get off to me?**

  


  
_I guess you'll never know for sure_

  


  
**wow asshole shouldn't you be teaching some kids anyways**

  


  
_They're reading for half the class as part of a project_

  


  
**god dammit**

  


  
_Why so desperate to get rid of me?_

  


  
**you're mean and i don't like you anymore that's why**

  


  
_You really want to know what happened, don't you?_

  


  
**yes obviously**

  


  
_I can tell. Hey, don't you have a job of some sort? You seem to be on here at all times_

  


  
**prongs and evans have a little coffee place and i help them out**

  


  
_I'm guessing that's code for "I act like a fool with James all day while Lily yells at us and I get paid for it"_

  


  
**i am wounded that you would insinuate such a thing**

  


  
_But is it accurate?_

  


  
**maybe**

  


  
**also don't think this means i forgot about the wanking thing i will not rest until i know what happened**

  


  
_I don't doubt that for a second_

  


  
**why does this feel like you're making fun of me**

  


  
_Because I am making fun of you_

  


  
**how do you have friends**

  


  
_If I recall correctly, you thought I was attractive enough to choke on coffee, so maybe it's that_

  


  
**you are absolutely correct i only keep you around for those freckles**

  


  
_Do you have some freckle fetish I should be aware of?_

  


  
**did you get off to my sexy face+voice?**

  


  
_I'd prefer that to remain a mystery_

  


  
**then you will know whether or not your freckles arouse me**

  


  
**and i won't use this new convenient as heck ability to send pictures on here to show you how hot i look in a skirt unless i know you're teaching a class**

  


  
_I don't even doubt you'd do that just to try and see if you could get a reaction out of me in front of my students, but I must warn you that if you do I will never message you during a class again_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Either I severely offended you with my threat, or you've been killed by James/Lily/Regulus. I'm honestly not sure which would be worse because although I'd prefer talking to a living person, I'd rather not be on your bad side again_

  


  
**none of the above my dear mooncheeks. i spent five minutes looking @ the phone trying to figure if it was a real threat and then lily made me do customer stuff but i am back**

  


  
**by the lack of immediate response to save you from your boredom i am guessing you are back to teaching your crushing 13yo kids**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_I am pleasantly surprised by the lack of skirts_

  


  
**wouldn't be saying that if you'd seen me in a skirt. i have hot legs**

  


  
**actually i'm just hot. prettiest girl around, even if lilys got bigger tits than me**

  


  
_Fem day?_

  


  
**why remus you genius what gave you that idea? the skirt (that i am in fact wearing at work) or that i called myself a pretty girl?**

  


  
_The sarcasm in this one, best kind of woman honestly. I am tempted to ask for proof that you're wearing it at work, but I also fear you're telling the truth_

  


  
**i am the best woman thank you for realising this very real truth. and no skirt unless you're teaching remember?**

  


  
_And how are you so sure I'm not?_

  


  
**bc you never message me when you're teaching and i have to go annoy prongs and lils instead**

  


  
_Damn, I've been found out. And I'm sure you aren't that annoying_

  


  
**"siri you know i love you but if you don't stop talking for 5 seconds i will choke you"**

  


  
_Was that James or Lily?_

  


  
**lily is a terrifying woman and jamie is gentle with me when i get clingy bc he gets why i do it**

  


  
_And why's that?_

  


  
**bc i /can/ be clingy with them w/o being scared they'll leave or do what mummy and daddy dearest did**

  


  
_Well I'm glad you found people you can be you with and not be afraid, I'm sure you deserve that_

  


  
**thanks remus. i will not cling too much with you yet bc i don't want you getting tired of me too soon, don't worry**

  


  
_I wouldn't mind. Nym used to be pretty clingy (not a bad thing, it was rather endearing), and that seems to have rubbed off on Teddy_

  


  
**one day you will see the extent of my cling and regret uttering those words**

  


  
_I think that's the most threatening way anyone has ever said they're going to message me lots and probably cuddle a lot if we ever meet_

  


  
**if??? i fully intend on meeting you pal**

  


  
_Well for all you know, we could be on opposite ends of the world_

  


  
**not bloody likely seeing how we're in the same time zone**

  


  
_How exactly do you know that?_

  


  
**well i mean you teaching schedule for one, and also a couple nights ago you said you were going to sleep and you mentioned the time i swear i'm not a stalker**

  


  
_So then we are in the same area of the earth, good to know_

  


  
**yes bc it means that one day i will be able to sweep you off your feet with how even more inhumanly gorgeous i am in person**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**did i scare you away with saying we'd meet one day? i'm sorry i jump into shit so fast**

  


  
_No, you didn't scare me away, don't worry. I just had to drive home Ms. I Know Your Schedule_

  


  
**so i didn't freak you out?**

  


  
_Nope. Obviously, we don't know each other quite well enough yet that I could meet you without the fear of you being some sort of murderer, but I don't doubt we will at some point. Hell, we may end up meeting on accident_

  


  
**i will hold you to that mr moony**

  


  
_That we meet or that it happens accidentally?_

  


  
**first one. if we met without me being able to prepare myself first i think i would have an aneurysm**

  


  
_Well that isn't something I'd want to have to live with so maybe let's not do that_

  


  
**i don't think my corpse could afford the therapy you'd need from being so distraught at my death**

  


  
_What makes you so sure I'd be distraught at your death and not just the fact that your dead body has ruined a perfectly good jumper by falling onto me and bloodying it?_

  


  
**even in death i will only fall for you my dear**

  
  
_Oh my god_  


  
**please, just call me sirius**

  


  
_Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm laughing or crying right now_

  


  
**and people say girls have a lot of emotions**

  


  
_In my defense, I barely slept last night and then I had to deal with children, so I am mildly delirious_

  


  
**well tomorrow is friday so at least you get plenty of sleep then**

  


  
_Unfortunately, I will not be getting plenty of sleep. But it's fine because I am getting up early on Saturday to get Teddy from Nym and spoiling the kid rotten as much as I can_

  


  
**will i get any father son pictures to see if the wee bab has your eyes?**

  


  
_I don't know, I'll consider it_

  


  
**i hate to be a party pooper but if i show up at lils again tomorrow and need to steal more than 2 coffees to not sleep on the job, she will have my head. night moony <3333**

  


  
_Goodnight Srirus_

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a 100% valid excuse for taking a month to do this, I swear. I've been halfway across the country for family stuff and haven't been able to write. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I will try my best.


	5. In Which James And Regulus Meet Remus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus is _italics_  
>  Sirius is **bold**  
>  James is **_both_**  
>  Warnings: the words crazy, psycho, etc. are used to describe someone in this chapter, and anxiety/panicking is implied

**mmoony imshakinf i don t knpw whatto do ik now youre ar worj im sorty i canr stopshaking**

  


  
**thry foundme they found regi just gor hum back i cabt losw him**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Fuck are you okay? I'm so sorry, my break just started and I didn't see the message. What happened?_

  


  
**i called james he brought reg here they helped me a little**

  


  
_If you're alright answering, what happened?_

  


  
**my fucking insane cousin bella somehow found my number and she said they were going to get regulus and she said a lot of shit to me and my mother knows where regulus is staying and bella said theyre going to take reg back**

  


  
_That's...a lot. Do you know if she meant it?_

  


  
**she did**

  


  
_You're sure?_

  


  
**even that psycho bitch isn't crazy enough to lie to me about shit like this**

  


  
_Is there anything you can do?_

  


  
**james is going to start bringing regulus to the shop so we can make sure nothing happens to him when nobodys home**

  


  
_You can't report them?_

  


  
**very rich very influential and they give a shitload of money to the coppers. reporting them wouldnt do any good**

  


  
_Then I guess keeping an eye on him is the best thing you can do_

  


  
**sorry if i scared you earlier**

  


  
_Don't be. I'm sure you were much more scared than I was_

  


  
**i knew itd happen eventually. he was the favourite and they werent going to let him go easy. i just wasnt ready**

  


  
_You shouldn't have had to be though. They should've left you guys alone_

  


  
**like i said, fucking insane**

  


  
_Are you okay?_

  


  
**i will be**

  


  
**dont worry about me remus. i have lily and james and reg and harry to keep me sane**

  


  
_I know you do, and I'm glad you do, but I'm still going to worry because I always do_

  


**thanks moony**

  


  
_It's no problem Sirius. I've got to go, break is ending_

  


  
**bye moonshine**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**-princepadfoot sent a photo-**

  


  
_Fuck_

  


  
**eloquent as always i see**

  


  
_I forgot about your threat a child just asked me why my phone made me have the reaction I did he was smirking so I repeat, fuck_

  


  
**good luck professor moony**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Are those your real legs?_

  


  
**well they arent lilys**

  


  
_Fuck_

  


  
**this is a good reaction right?**

  


  
_I'm_

  


  
_Great legs, 10/10. Better?_

  


  
**my legs really are flawless**

  


  
_There's that modesty I know and love_

  


  
**listen**

  


  
**with my legs and my ass, i have every right to confidence my friend**

  


  
_I won't argue with you on that. It's impressive honestly_

  


  
**well why waste time i could be using to by a new skirt that makes me look great hating myself? it is all about practice moony dearest**

  


  
_You do have a point_

  


  
**of course i do**

  


  
_By the way, I definitely don't have any actual issues with how confident you are, it's just really endearing so I have to poke fun_

  


  
**well i knew you didnt actually hate it but wowie i am endearing too thats a new one**

  


  
_I think my favourite thing actually has to be what a giant nerd you are. Either that or how you look in a skirt_

  


  
**i knew you thought i looked hot in one**

  


  
_I don't recall ever denying it Padfoot_

  


  
**if you did you would be lying and denying facts**

  


  
_Oh? Is it a fact that you look hot in a skirt?_

  


  
**yes obviously keep up moony**

  


  
_I am so sorry my liege_

  


  
**you should be**

  


  
**also what kind of reaction did you have to the pic that a children knew you were turned on ??????**

  


  
_A children?_

  


  
**yes now no subject changing**

  


  
_I went red in the face_

  


  
_And I may have possibly dropped my phone in the bin but that isn't relevant_

  


  
**ohmygod**

  


  
**you**

  


  
**you thought throwing the phone in the bin would be the best option i**

  


  
_If I'm being honest here, there wasn't much thought involved at all_

  


  
**moony i thought teachers were smart**

  


  
_I am only required to be smart with books_

  


  
**youre too big a nerd not to be book smart remus**

  


  
_I'm trying to figure out whether you meant that as a compliment or an insult_

  


  
**def a compliment**

  


  
**nerds are cute as fuck**

  


  
_Is this another one of your facts?_

  


  
**duh**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**did i say something?**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**im sorry for whatever i did**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**please just message me back at some point?**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Fuck Sirius, I'm sure you're sleeping because nobody should be up at this ungodly hour, but I promise I am not mad at you. You did nothing wrong, I just got really fucking tired pretty suddenly and passed out. I'm sorry I worried you, I'll try to tell you if I think I'll be MIA again_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**you got tired not your fault. i was just being overdramatic like usual bc people think im Too Much and i thought i did that again**

  


  
_You definitely aren't too much, you are the perfect amount. And I don't want you thinking you've made me angry when that isn't the case, so I will try like hell not to disappear without an explanation_

  


  
**thank you moony**

  


  
_It's no problem. Since I am a man of my word, I have to warn you that I won't be on too much until tonight because I'm getting Teddy all to myself for the weekend and will mostly be off my phone until he's asleep_

  


  
**that sounds like a lot of fun**

  


  
_I'm sure we'll have a great time. I love my kid and he loves when I get him ice cream_

  


  
**sounds like a great kid**

  


  
_He's the best kid_

  


  
**i will fight you**

  


  
_Oh wait right, you think Harry should have the title?_

  


  
**"think" i know he should**

  


  
_Are we about to battle for whose child is best?_

  


  
**nah that wouldnt be fair to teddy**

  


  
_Fight me you rat_

  


  
**never**

  


  
_I would totally beat you in a fight_

  


  
**lies and slander**

  


  
_Prove yourself_

  


  
**i will punch you in the mouth**

  


  
**gently**

  


  
**with my mouth**

  


  
**bc my a+ snogging would distract you from hurting my face**

  


  
_Oh_

  


  
**did i cross some sort of line? im sorry**

  


  
_Not at all. Just surprised me_

  


  
**so then thats okay?**

  


  
_It is very much okay_

  


  
_Nym just showed up with Teddy, gotta go. She's visiting some family so I actually get to keep him a week which is great. Feel free to message me at any point still, I will just probably take awhile to respond. Bye nerd_

  


  
**excuse you i am punk rock**

  


  
_Bye punk nerd***_

  


  
**much better**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**remus reg came over and tried to make tea but he forgot to putt water in the kettle and almost started a fire how am i related to this mess**

  


  
**This is Regulus. In my defense, making tea was not something I had to know how to do until recently. It is easy to forget a step. Sirius is awful and she likes making me out to be more of a disaster than she is, which is not at all true. Did you know that whenever she tried to cook for the first time, it was just in the microwave, and she still managed to start a small fire? I think that's worse than missing one step in making tea. Also not at all punk rock, she sleeps in giant sweaters and still has multiple teddy bears. I would embarrass her more, but she's coming back from the bathroom. Bye Remus, have fun with Teddy.**

  
  
\--  


  
**that shithead told me he was going to google something hes dead i am going to kill him**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**update: he is not dead bc murder isnt good to do to your baby bro but i did beat him up with a pillow**

  


  
**he screamed a lot**

  


  
**he screams were a) vvv high pitched b) not even a little dignified which was so satisfying ????? and c)complete with flailing**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Sounds to me like you two are both trainwrecks and I don't even know what I should address first_

  


  
**MOONY YOURE BACK also address regs failures as a human pls it will make my soul happy**

  


  
_If you insist_

  


  
_First, yes technically he only forgot one step in the tea but at the same time that was like the only step???? Secondly, I fully expect proof of his undignified flailing screams next time it happens_

  


  
**thank you for agreeing with me on the tea and i will make james record it next time**

  


  
**does this mean teds sleeping and youre mine for the rest of the night?**

  


  
_At least until one of us falls asleep_

  


  
**heck yes**

  


  
**hey moony?**

  


  
**no wait i take the hey moony back it was going to be a dumb question**

  


  
_No now you have to ask, you've made me curious_

  


  
**do you think i could call you? like on the phone or skype or anything?**

  


  
_I think Skype would be great, but when Teddy isn't here because walls are thin and I wouldn't want to wake him up_

  


  
**you do?**

  


  
_Why not? You're great to text and I'm sure talking to you and seeing your face would be nice_

  


  
**you will be sorely disappointed but now you have no choice you have made a commitment**

  


  
_I guess I have. What's your Skype thing just so nobody backs out? (Translation: so I don't get caught up on my weird ass voice and decide to not)_

  


  
**i'm sure you have a great voice and my skype is prongsownsmyentireass**

  


  
_Of course that's what you'd set it as_

  


  
**he said i wouldnt do it**

  


  
**i had to prove him wrong did i not?**

  


  
_Fair enough_

  


  
_I should probably go to sleep or I will be in actual hell when Teddy inevitably wakes me up at 8 am_

  


  
**jesus moony why did you wait until 230 to make this decision?**

  


  
_Wanted to talk to you for a while before I got too tired_

  


  
**oh**

  


  
_I am going to sleep great knowing I managed to make you speechless. Goodnight punk_

  


  
**night freckles**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**so i know you are sleeping but i would like to say when james inevitably finds out you made me blush and lose words he will want to meet you so be very prepared for that**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_Am I going to be murdered by your lover?_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**nah he will just make sure we never live it down**

  


  
**also reg says fuck you for making fun of his teatime struggles**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_I'm sure he'll get over it once I start bringing up the things he told me about you_

  


  
**you wouldnt dare**

  


  
_Oh but I would_

  


  
_So is Regulus getting anywhere with James?_

  


  
**reg was invited to go on a morning run with jamie but the idiot said no**

  


  
_Where do running and attraction have any connection?_

  


  
**james is a strange man and hes realized his interest in everyone hes dated while on a run**

  


  
**him asking means there is a possibility that happened**

  


  
_Okay the fact he goes on morning runs is gross enough but that's where he realizes he's into someone? What the fuck James_

  


  
_I'm kinkshaming_

  


  
**jesus christ moony**

  


  
_Sorry, I'm spending too much time on this hellsite_

  


  
**kinkshame me moony**

  


  
_Maybe when I'm not sitting on a couch with my kid and watching cartoons_

  


  
**probably wise**

  


  
**oh no its happening**

  


  
_What's happening? Do I need to start worrying?_

  


  
**james asked for your url**

  


  
_Shit_

  


  
**want me to tell him to piss off?**

  


  
_Nope, I'm ready. Let your boyfriend interrogate me_

  


  
**just remember you consented to this**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**_Are you planning on sleeping with my child?_**

  


  
_Jesus fucking christ_

  


  



	6. In Which The Nerds Skype

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is **bold**  
>  Remus is _italics_  
>  James is **_both_**

_I take it back I'm not ready for this interrogation_  


  


  
**?????? is it that bad ???**

  


  
_'Are you planning on sleeping with my child?'_

  


  
**of course thats how he opened it**

  


  
**good luck w him moony**

  


  
_Do not leave me to do this alone_

  


  
_Asshole_

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**_Um you didnt deny it???_**

  


  
_Sirius is great truly, but we are not dating. I do not make a habit of sleeping with people I am not in relationships with because reasons, so unless we date (and meet in person!!!! I can't sleep with them(pronouns right now?) through a phone) you have nothing to worry about_

  


  
**_Wait you arent dating him already?_**

  


  
_No? I mean I guess we flirt but I don't know if he's just like that or if he actually is?_

  


  
**_Oh no he would flirt w/ the trees if he could but he def likes you Moony_**

  


  
_And you know this how?_

  


  
**_He never blushes that much_**

  


  
_Well shit_

  


  
**_Why 'well shit'?? Fuck are you not interested or something because that would make this entire conversation rather pointless_**

  


  
_Oh that's not even remotely the issue here_

  


  
**_????? Enlighten me??_**

  


  
_Um? I'm sure this is getting reported back to Sirius and would rather not?_

  


  
**_Mate if Pads got to read this hed kill me for telling you about his painfully obvious crush but in my defense I thought you 2 were dating_**

  


  
_Well_

  


  
_The issue at hand is that I /am/ interested. He is this super attractive super out of my league person, AND I met him on tumblr. I don't know anything location-wise except that you're in the same time zone as me and god knows when/if we will ever meet. If we were to date why would he feel the need to commit to a guy who probably lives really fucking far from him and can't /be/ there with him or know if there was anything wrong with us?_

  


  
**_As his best friend I am more than a little offended that you think he would do that_**

  


  
_Well that's the thing. I don't really think he would. My dumbass brain would just convince me of it. Plus we haven't exactly been talking long. The novelty of tumblr boy with freckles will wear off and he'll get bored and I'd prefer not to be dating him when that happens_

  


  
**_If I thought that would happen I wouldnt have had to approve you first_**

  


  
_Why are we even having this discussion? I only even know what Sirius has told me about you and we've never talked before_

  


  
**_Ive been told Im just one of those people everyone spills their life stories to¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_**

  


  
_Of course you're one of the people who uses those all the time_

  


  
**_┐(´-｀)┌_**

  


  
_Goodbye James_

  


  
**_But don't you want to know if youve earned my approval?_**

  


  
_Desperately_

  


  
**_You are oblivious and nervous and you disapprove of my messaging skills but you make him smile which is v good and you dont seem like a total tool_**

  


  
**_At the moment I am hesitantly approving but it can change in either direction after we talk more_**

  


  
_'Hesitantly approving' I suppose I could get a worse rating than that_

  


  
**_Many have_**

  


  
_The word many scares me here, how many guys am I competing with?_

  


  
**_None because they were unworthy tools_**

  


  
_And I am a slightly less unworthy tool?_

  


  
**_Exactly_**

  


  
**_Except instead of less unworthy you are maybe slightly worthy and instead of tool you are idiot_**

  


  
_So I am a maybe slightly worthy idiot?_

  


  
**_Bingo!_**

  


  
_You're too kind_

  


  
_Lovely as this has been, Teddy is hungry and bored of toys and cartoons_

  


  
**_Whos Teddy?_**

  


  
_My kid. Feel free to ask Sirius about him because right now he requires my undivided attention_

  


  
**_Have fun with the kid_**

  


  
\--

  


  
**howd it go?**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**either jamie scared you off of youre busy w teddy**

  


  
**v much hoping its the latter**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
_It very much was the latter_

  


  
_Sometimes I forget he's so little and therefore has the attention span of a goldfish_

  


  
**my love you have returned to me**

  


  
**so i thought of something while you were gone**

  


  
_What a surprise! Padfoot thought of something!_

  


  
**asshole**

  


  
_You know I don't mean it, you seem perfectly intelligent_

  


  
**well of course i am**

  


  
_I'm sure_

  


  
_So what did you think of?_

  


  
**do you have a bro and is his name romulus**

  


  
_God dammit. No siblings, I am an only child thankfully because I have no doubt that my parents would've named a brother Romulus_

  


  
**how often do people ask that?**

  


  
_Anytime I meet someone who knows the story, they ask_

  


  
**well i just had to make sure you werent going to be murdered anytime soon bc that would be a tragedy for me**

  


  
_And why's that?_

  


  
**you cant die before i get to kiss you ??????**

  


  
_Is that a rule now?_

  


  
**um yes ???? i mean dont die after i kiss you either that would probably be even more upsetting**

  


  
_So basically I'm not allowed to die ever?_

  


  
**exactly**

  


  
_Let's hope that works and I become the first immortal man_

  


  
_You aren't allowed to either_

  


  
**wasnt planning on it moonlight**

  


  
_Don't be so sure, I've been told I'm pretty phenomenal at snogging_

  


  
_And don't get me started on giving head, I've been told I actually could kill someone like that_

  


  
**that good?**

  


  
_Based on the reactions I've gotten in the past, I'm thinking yes_

  


  
**how can you be so sure?**

  


  
_I've only had one /long term/ boyfriend and he wasn't what you'd call vocal, but I could make him scream_

  


  
_And Nym nearly passed out once or twice_

  


  
**fuck**

  


  
_So try not to die on me?_

  


  
**1\. too late and 2. is that a promise?**

  


  
_A promise it'll happen? I mean, if things work out with this I can pretty much guarantee it'll happen at some point_

  


  
**if youve only had one boyfriend howd you get so great at it? i mean you dont seem like the sleeping around type**

  


  
_I'm not, but back when I couldn't deal with dysphoria I took any attention I could get from anyone who called me a guy, and I learned quite a bit. I mean I obviously wasn't showing them my junk in case they changed their minds, so it was all give and no take_

  


  
_So one good thing came out of that point at least_

  


  
**im glad you got through that**

  


  
_That is entirely thanks to Nym_

  


  
**what did she do?**

  


  
_She yelled a lot about how irresponsible it was and how I was going to ruin my life. Started making plans with me more often so I wouldn't have chances to do that. Made sure I was safe, did what I needed when I felt like shit. We started dating probably two months after that started (we were 18 almost 19) and Teddy happened and we split like a month after he was born because she was in love with this French girl and I didn't want to hold her back_

  


  
**she left you for someone else and you were still just chill?**

  


  
_Not exactly. We were mostly staying together because we wanted to raise Teddy normally, but then we kinda both realised we were the same way we were with each other before we caught feelings, and she didn't realise how gone she'd been for that girl until she realised we weren't in love like that anymore. The only reason I held on so long is because my thing with her was so familiar and normal, but I didn't love her like that anymore, and I didn't want to stop her from going after the person she did love like that_

  


  
**so then everything was alright?**

  


  
_Very much. The only thing I was afraid of was being lonely again, but she made sure she made plenty of time for me, and included me in things with her girlfriend without making me feel too third wheely_

  


  
**she sounds great**

  


  
_She's the greatest_

  


  
**but not greater than me**

  


  
_I think it's a tie. Don't tell her though or she will actually kill me_

  


  
**your secret is safe w me**

  


  
_Good to know_

  


  
**since theres been no delay in responses im guessing moony 2.0 is asleep?**

  


  
_That would be correct. And Moony 2.0? Really?_

  


  
**shhhhh its perfect**

  


  
_Sure it is_

  


  
**got anything better?**

  


  
_Teddy_

  


  
_I would tell you his last name too but it's mine and Nym's together and I don't know if she'd be okay with it considering she doesn't know you as anything but a person I met on the internet_

  


  
**aw you dont talk about me moony?**

  


  
_Never said that. She just isn't fully going to believe you aren't some internet creep intent on deflowering me until I have verified it in person_

  


  
**i mean deflowering you wouldnt occur the first time we meet if thats any consolation**

  


  
_I'm sure she'd be thrilled to hear that_  


  
**remus?**

  


  
_Yeah?_

  


  
**you arent just having fun and joking with this right? you actually are interested in meeting and kissing and dating and stuff?**

  


  
_I'm definitely not just having a laugh with this. I mean, it is fun because talking to you is entertaining and nice to do, but I also definitely want to actually do all that. I want to meet you at some point, I want to Skype you as soon as Teddy isn't here, I want to prove to you just how great I am at kissing, and dating you doesn't sound half bad_

  


  
**im sorry i needed you to do that. some people will see im pretty or whatever and talk to me like this bc they want to get in my pants and i start to care and then they leave and i just needed to know for sure before i got too invested**

  


  
_I can assure you that won't happen. I am not someone who leads people on and I haven't slept with someone I wasn't emotionally invested in since before me and Nym dated, nor do I have any desire to_

  


  
**thank you moony**

  


  
_No problem Padfoot_  


  
**and i know its redundant but same here. i am starting to care a lot and definitely want to do this with you and 100% want to take you up on that offer for you to prove your kissing skills**

  


  
_Even if it is redundant, it's still good to hear and be reassured that it isn't one sided_

  


  
**def not one sided**

  


  
_Well that's a relief_

  


  
**youre sure we cant skype?**

  


  
_Wait shit_

  


  
**?**

  


  
_Teddy fell asleep in the sitting room_

  


  
_If I'm in my room, he won't hear me and this could work_

  


  
**!!!!!!**

  


  
_Give me like five minutes to get him a blanket and get my laptop and let's do this shit before I lose all my courage_

  


  
**and ive never heard your voice before !!! i will finally have a voice to match the freckles and the snark**

  


  
_Trust me, my voice is nothing special_

  


  
**it is a moony voice so its special by default**

  


  
_Nerd_

  


  
_You ready?_

  


  
**extremely**

  


  
\-- 

  


  
**"Moony?"**

  


  
_"You're real."_

  


  
**"I think so?"**

  


  
_"Don't laugh at me you ass. It was a totally valid concern."_

  


  
**"And I was right. You have a very nice voice."**

  


  
_"Yours is so posh."_

  


  
**"It used to be worse."**

  


  
_"Oh my god. I don't believe you."_

  


  
**"Keep in mind Moony, I come from one of the twenty-four oldest, richest families in Britain. We were close to beating out the royal family. We have a castle in France. Oh my god, the look on your face right now! Jesus, you look horrified!"**

  


  
_"Please tell me the laughter means you're joking because if not I think I need to find some way to lay down harder."_

  


  
**"If that will make you feel better."**

  


  
_"Castle? In France?"_

  


  
**"That is what I said."**

  


  
_"Holy shit."_

  


  
**"I also know how to sweet talk you in French."**

  


  
_"I just learned about the castles, I don't think I could handle you saying pretty things in French right now."_

  


  
**"I suppose that's fair. Now to the important thing; you thought I wasn't real?"**

  


  
_"I mean, you are gorgeous, like way too pretty for me. And on top of that, you're great to talk to? Sounds a bit too good to be true, you know?"_

  


  
**"It's not like I don't have any negative qualities too, though. I am very much real, and very much interested in you, and I happen to think you're pretty damn nice to look at too. I am not the only attractive one in this."**

  


  
_"I must've been a saint in a past life or something."_

  


  
**"That is a possibility."**

  


  
_"What're you staring so intently at?"_

  


  
**"You."**

  


  
_"O-oh?"_

  


  
**"What the hell made you doubt that your voice and your face, especially when combined, could make a man weak in the knees? Because whatever it was was very wrong."**

  


  
_"I don't know? They've just never seemed all that extraordinary to me?"_

  


  
**"I don't understand you Mr. Headmaster. How can you be so great, and not see it?"**

  


  
_"Did you just call me Mr. Headmaster?"_

  


  
**"Yes. Yes I did. Your listening skills must be phenomenal."**

  


  
_"Honestly, I shouldn't even be surprised."_

  


  
**"I can see your blush through this shitty webcam."**

  


  
_"And I'm sure if I even talked about proving to you how true that stupid name is, and exactly how I would go about that, you would be about eight shades redder than I am."_

  


  
**"Want to try and prove that?"**

  


  
_"No need. I can already see how much you're blushing, any more and your face might catch fire."_

  


  
**"Damn."**

  


  
_"Fucking nerd. How was your day with minimal Remus in it?"_

  


  
**"I got so bored Moony, you don't understand."**

  


  
_"You poor soul."_

  


  
**"Reg came over and he seemed ready to kill me by the time he left. Seems like my clinginess is too much for him when it's not being split with someone else."**

  


  
_"Well, how unfortunate for him."_

  


  
**"I expected it. We weren't exactly bathed in affection in the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. He is not yet used to being around people who love physical affection. I'm sure James will fix that right quick, he did alright with me. Maybe a bit too alright honestly."**

  


  
_"Wait, your family had its own title?"_

  


  
**"And one of those stupid fucking mottos. Toujours Pur. Couldn't even be arsed to be like most ancient families and have it Latin. It's French for fuck's sake."**

  


_"What does the pretentious French Black family motto mean?"_

  


  
**"Always Pure. The time it became a thing, they always married into the royal family, or at the very least, married someone very rich and very important in society and the government. So actually, nothing has changed at all. They tried to make me marry Bellatrix."**

  


  
_"Your cousin?"_

  


  
**"That's the one."**

  


  
_"Is that even legal?"_

  


  
**"Laws and morals don't mean much in their eyes. At all."**

  


  
_"Don't know how you survived that."_

  


  
**"Barely did. My leaving there wasn't exactly a clean break."**

  


  
_"I'm really glad you were able to leave though."_

  


  
**"Me too."**

  


  
_"I know you know this, but you're really fucking pretty."_

  


  
**"You're not too bad yourself. Wanna know what else I am?"**

  


  
_"What's that?"_

  


  
**"Very sleepy."**

  


  
_"Oh, should-should I hang up then and let you get some sleep?"_

  


  
**"Don't be stupid Moony, of course not. Keep talking to me until I give in and fall asleep. You have a great voice."**

  


  
_"Um, okay? What should I talk about?"_

  


  
**"Anything. Tell me about your day. What mischief did you and Teddy get up to?"**

  


  
_"I think all the mischief was on him this time. I had to cut the lovely thing with James short because Ted got bored of the telly and demanded I play with him. He was very persuasive. We played with his little toys, I made him lunch, and he threw a sandwich at me. There was jam in my hair which was not very pleasant, and then he pouted for the better part of an hour when I didn't make him another, even though he wasn't even hungry anymore. He cheered right up when I agreed to go play ball outside with him. Played out there until he inevitably faceplanted into the dirt. Had to give him a bath after that which he wasn't exactly keen on. Is Harry okay about baths? Oh. You're properly asleep. Well, goodnight Sirius."_

  


  



End file.
